| The Soldier VS Senator Armstrong
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|---|---|
| Season unknown, Episode 3 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | May 8, 2015 |
| Written by | The-Myth-Of-Legends |
| Directed by | The-Myth-Of-Legends |
Episode guide
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The Soldier VS Senator Armstrong is a What-If Episode of Fatal Fiction written by The-Myth-Of-Legend. It features The Soldier from Team Fortress and Senator Armstrong from Metal Gear.
Description
Team Fortress VS Metal Gear!
Interlude
Soul: AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
Myth: Yes! Today, we'll be having two VERY American men fight each other to the death! For freedom!
Soul: The Soldier, the American mercenary from RED Teufort...
Myth: And Senator Armstrong, the greatest politician! Ever!
Soul: Hes Myth and I'm Soul...
Myth: And its our jobs to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a...
Soul: Fatal Fiction!
The Soldier
- First Appearence: Team Fortress 2 (2007)
- Age: Unknown
- Weight: Unknown
- Height: Unknown
- Theme: Team Fortress - Soldier's Theme
Myth: Born in America, Jane Doe
Soul: JANE DOE?! THATS NOT A GUY'S NAME!
Myth: Anyways, Jane Doe was rejected from the military...
Soul: FOR BEING INSANE AS HELL!
Myth: Yep. Even thought World War II ended, the Soldier KEPT fighting Nazis. After World War II.
Soul: Sounds crazy! I like him! Anyways, after being awarded so much, the Soldier was eventually invited to enter... the RED Team.
Myth: Insert Red vs. Blue reference here.
PRIMARY WEAPONS
Rocket Launcher
-Slow moving
-Rockets can be countered by an airblast
Direct Hit
-Less area of effect
-Rockets fire 80% faster
Rocket Jumper
-No damage to player when fired
-Launches player in air
-Doesn't damage enemies
Cow Mangler 5000
-Basically a laser bazooka
-Takes no ammo
-Can alt fire for mini-crits
Beggar's Bazooka
-Can charge up 3 rockets at once -If overloaded, will explode
Soul: Being a bat-shit insane man of the military, the Soldier is no stranger to deadly weapons. From a rocket launcher to the Cow Magler 5000, this guy has A LOT of deadly weaponry.
Myth: For some strange reason, the Soldier is can utilize the rockets explosion to LET HIM ROCKET JUMP.
Soul: Logic Status - REKT.
Myth: And he can survive the rocket exploding!
SECONDARY WEAPONS
Shotgun
-It's just a shotgun guys. Don't freak out.
Gunboats
-Makes Soldier 60% less affected by rocket damage
Buff Banner
-A horn
-Gives teamates 10 seconds of guarenteed min-crits
Mantreads
-Deals 3x falling damage on enemies you land on
Righteous Bison
-Fires energy blasts that can't be countered
-Can light a friendly huntsman bow on fire
-Doesn't have ammo
B.A.S.E. Jumper
-Deploys a parachute in midair
Soul: That's not all this crazy son of a bitch is packing. He owns a shotgun... its a shotgun, OK? Seriously, that's all. Nothing special about it.
Myth: The Soldier can where the Gunboots which make him capable of tanking more damage from a rocket.
Soul: The Mantreads let him crush opponents below and the Righteous Bison fires energy blasts.
Myth: The B.A.S.E. Jumper is simply a parachute.
MELEE WEAPONS
Shovel
-Just a shovel
Equalizer
-Damage increases as health decreases
-Can't be healed by a medic when active
-Can kill himself with grenades when active
Half Zatochi
-On kill, restores 100% health
-When pulled out, can't be sheathed until it lands a hit
Disciplinary Action
-70% higher range than the shovel -When it hits an ally, he gets a speed increase for 4 seconds
Soul: While hes most a far-ranged combatant, the Soldier isn't afraid to get in your face. He owns a shovel for whacking guys. The Equalizer damages foes the more he himself is hurt. The Half Zatochi is basically a sword...
Myth: With an interesting ability. If the Soldier kills someone, he will be COMPLETELY healed.
Soul: Sounds... OK, how? Logic is just getting slapped around like a bitch today!
Myth: Lastly, he owns the Disciplinary Action. Put simply? Its stronger than the shovel. Granted, if Soldier hits an ally with it, he'll get faster...
Soul: Buuuuuut no outside help.
WEAKNESSES
- Can be overcome by rage
- Absolutely insane
- Sometimes reliant on his fellow teammates
- Super short sighted
Myth: Of course, he's not perfect. As mentioned earlier, the Soldier is a LUNATIC.Soul: Damn straight! On top of that, he can get pissed and pretty easily. But take those weaknesses away and you got one of the most badass mercenaries ever.
The Soldier: "Less talk, more fight!"
Senator Armstrong
- First Appearence: Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (2013)
- AKA: THIS SENATOR, Armstrong
- Occupation: Senator, Presidential Candidate, Funder of Desperado
- Age: ~40
- Height: 6'5
- Weight: Varies, ~500 lbs.
- Theme: Metal Gear Rising - It Has To Be This Way.
Soul: One of the manliest men ever, Armstrong is a BADASS!
Myth: But before he was a badass, he was just a boy in Texas...
Soul: And he played College football. And joined the Navy! After his time in the Navy, Steven moved to Colorado.
Myth: At Colorado, Armstrong ran for state senate... and now hes one of the most insane men in politics that you'll ever see.
FEATS AND SKILLS
- The most powerful character in the MGS universe
- At least where raw strength is concerned
- Beat the ever-loving CRAP out of Raiden
- He needed Jetstream's sword to kill Armstrong, plus help from Blade Wolf
- Took out Jetstream Sam without exerting himself too much
Soul: Armstrong is a total beast in combat. Not only has he slapped Raiden around like a total bitch, hes even taken down Jetstream Sam.
Myth: ...he even kicked Raiden like a football.
PHYSICALITY
Strength
- Can punch at strengths equal to 1.25 kilotons of TNT
- Was able to easily toss pieces of Metal Gear Excelsus at Raiden
- Can punch strong enough to create fissures
Durability
- Took missile launchers point blank without a scratch
- The only way to actually kill him is to cut out his heart, even then he can still talk and move for a bit
Agility
- Able to strike at speeds that even RAIDEN can't parry
- Able to quickly dash around the battlefield
Soul: Armstrong is fast enough to keep up with Raiden. HELL, hes fast enough to even strike at speeds faster than Raiden can react! RAIDEN!
Myth: In terms of strength, he can pick up Metal Gears and toss them like they're nothing. Hell, he can survive one of them exploding on him.
NANOMACHINES (SON!)
Hardens in response to trauma
- Apparently can be as hard as needed
- Can be bypassed by slices precise and strong enough
- Can even regenerate lost limbs or reattach them
Allows him to generate fire
- Can create explosions by punching the ground
- Can charge himself up in fire
Soul: Armstrong is pretty damn powerful... but where does all of his power come from?
Myth: ...lets let the Senator himself explain, shall we?
Soul: Lets.
Senator Armstrong: "Nanomachines, son. They harden in response to physical trauma."
Myth: Basically, Steven means that each time hes hit, his skin hardens in response to tank the hit more easily.
Soul: On top of that, Mr. Armstrong can use the Nanomachines to even improve his already insane strength... or create fire.
Machinery Control
- Can telekenetically toss parts of machinery
- Able to harvest electricity to further power him up
Myth: Like a battery, Armstrong can overcharge himself with electricity to further power him up.
Soul: Not only that but he can even telekenetically toss machinery around like its nothing.
WEAKNESSES
- Overconfident
- Has little ranged game
- Those accurate enough can cut out his heart
Soul: Despite being the greatest politician to ever live, Senator Armstrong isn't perfect. Hes overconfident of his victories, often thinking he has an upperhand over you. On top of that, - other than nearby rubble that he tosses around - he lacks ranged options.
Myth: And despite the Nanomachines sounding tough, they CAN be broken through.
Soul: Regardless, Steven Armstrong is one of the most badass fighters alive. When you can make Raiden look like a school-girl and beat the shit out of mechs, you know your a badass.
Senator Armstrong: "Fuck all these limp-dick lawyers, and these chicken shit bureaucrats! Fuck this 24/7 internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit! Fuck American Pride -- fuck the media -- Fuck - all of it! America is diseased -- rotten to the core...there's no saving it... We need to pull it out by the roots! Wipe the slate clean -- burn it down! And from the ashes a new America will be born! Evolved but unchained! The weak will be purged -- and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit! They'll make America great again!"
Fatal Fiction
Myth: The combatants are set!
Soul: Time for a VERY American Fatal Fiction!
--
The White House
Black suit, glasses, black hair, American pin were used to describe the man sitting in a chair. THIS Senator was smoking a cigar. All seemed calm...
Little did he know, however, he was being watched by a man... or really, men.
--
Outside the window of the White House
A group of red-wearing men were all lined up, ready for action. One was a hooded man, the other was a youngster with a baseball bat, another was wearing a gas-mask, another was a buff man with a mini-gun, another was a man with a-
"Where the heck is Soldier?!" The Sniper yelled.
"Who the hell cares?!" Scout responded, "Lets just get in there and bonk that idiot's head clean off!"
Shrugging, the Sniper leaned down and got into position. On a building nearby, his sniper rifle was pointing right at the Senator. In that same room, poor Armstrong was unaware of what was going on. The sound of footsteps filled the area. He turned to see a man with a ski mask - also known as the Spy - slowly sneak up on him with a knife... and then a pyromaniac... and then noticed an Engineer sitting next to two turrets, a Russian with a mini-gun pointed at him... and a little kid with a baseball bat.
"Your surrounded..." The Spy said, devilishly... but the strange thing? All Armstrong did was smile. He stood up and looked around. "This... this is adorable... so y'all want to take me out, huh? Well..." Armstrong turned swiftly, grabbed a nearby desk and hurled it at the turrets! They were crushed under the sheer weight. "BRING IT, THEN!"
(Cues: Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance - The Stains of Time)
"Oh, shit!" Scout said. Regardless, the youngster dashed forward and slammed his baseball bat on Armstrong's head-
Upon making contact, two things happened:
1) Senator Armstrong's head turned completely black and looked more akin to a hardened rock...
2) The Scout's baseball bat had completely shattered.
For a second, the Scout backed away and looked at his bat. He gulped nervously before saying, "Oh fuck." Pulling back a fist, Armstrong slammed it into Scout's head so quickly that his head flew off of his shoulders!
"Stupid little shit."
In a panic, the Spy pulled out his revolver and began firing. The rounds bounced off of the Senator's chest... who dashed forward, grabbed the Spy and lifted him up...
And then brought him down on his leg and shattered his back entirely! The poor French-man's scream of utter pain filled the skies above. On the second back-break, the Spy was split in half from the sheer force.
Quickly, the Pyro fired a steady stream of flames and the Demoman fired a round of explosives...
Armstrong's devilish smirk couldn't have been any bigger. He kicked the grenade back at Pyro and Demoman! The two looked down at the bomb...
"Uh oh."
BOOM!
Guts and blood filled the skies.
Noticing his destroyed sentries, the Engineer pulled out his handgun-
Too bad the Senator had already bent his gun to the point where it was unusable. "AAAAAAAAHHHH-"
BAM!
The poor Engineer's head flew through the skies above and hit the ground with a thud. Suddenly, Steven turned to see the Heavy... difference? He was bright red and laughing with mad power... and behind him was the Medic, sending a strange amount of energy over to the Heavy, giving the Russian some more power. Steven Armstrong, however, was no coward. Instead, he gritted his teeth, charged forward and pounded his fists together.
"DIE YOU LITTLE SHITS!"
The Heavy couldn't react as Armstrong football tackled him. Upon falling back, the Russian fell on top of the Medic. The poor Medic's back was broken from the sheer weight. Pulling back a fist, Armstrong slammed them down onto the Heavy's face. Multiple times.
"DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!"
On the final punch, he lifted it up for a good two seconds...
"DIE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
This time, Armstrong punched through the Heavy's head. He stood up to leave-
"...h-help me..." The Medic pleaded. "Help you?" Armstrong said, "Better idea..." He lifted his leg-
"NONONONONONONO-"
And brought the foot down on the Medic's neck, ending his life.
Outside the window, the Sniper knew it was time to take the shot... after all, he (And the Soldier) were the only remaining survivors. He fired-
It bounced off of Armstrong's thick skull. Strangely enough, Armstrong's head looked like coal now.
The Sniper looked in utter confusion...
"Nanomachines, son."
Swiftly, Armstrong picked up a nearby American flag... and tossed it through the window. It slammed through the Sniper's rifle and straight into his head. His brain was ripped apart from the sheer force.
"Hahahahaha!" Armstrong laughed, sitting back in his now ruined chair, "C'mon, is that all?"
(Cues: Team Fortress 2 - The Soldier's Theme)
The doors suddenly flung open and revealed a man in a red military get-up. He had a green helmet on, grenades strapped to his chest and a rocket launcher over his shoulder. "Hehehe..." The Soldier chuckled, "Sorry i'm late-" He stopped for a second and looked around to view his mauled teammates.
"Oh..." Jane Doe said, "OH! I think I was too late. Well, hopefully that Senator guy is dead- "The Soldier stopped for a second and saw the giant man in a suit standing before him. He quickly pointed his trusty Rocker Launcher at him. "Well, that answers that question! Prepare to die, maggot!"
FIGHT!
(Cues: Killer Instinct - Cinder Komplete Dynamic Theme)
"Time to die, maggot!" The Soldier pulled the trigger on his weapon and a rocket launched out, ready to blast anything in its path! THIS Senator, however, was for more agile than he appeared to be. He jumped back, grabbed a couch and used it as a shield! The couch - now almost destroyed and on fire - looked like a perfect projectile. With a quick motion, Armstrong tossed it at the Soldier! The mercenary jumped back in time to avoid the flaming couch shield of American justice.
Grumbling in annoyance, Steven Armstrong darted at Jane Doe like a tackler! What happened next... was insanely weird. The Mercenary pointed his rocket launcher at the ground and freaking fired it. The result? Rather than being simply blown to pieces, the Soldier rocketed skyward, laughing all the way.
Armstrong took off his glasses for a second and cleaned them...
Nope, he wasn't seeing things.
The Soldier came roaring down... with a shovel?! He slammed it into the Senator's chest... and it didn't do much. Smirking, Armstrong decided to just stand there. The mercenary roared as he began flailing the shovel at the Senator's chest.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The Mercenary kept on slashing at the Senator but he stood there, arms crossed, smirking and tanking all the blows. "You can't hurt-"
"SILENCE!" The Soldier yelled as he slammed the shovel directly onto the Senator's head. "Agh, fuck!" He said, clutching his aching head. Through rage, the politician clutched a fist and roared forward. He began wildly swinging, missing each time. With each miss, Soldier taunted him.
"Aha!"
"You missed!"
"You've disappointed your country!"
"The American spirit made me dodge that!"
"Nice try!"
Finally, Armstrong slammed his fist directly into the Soldier's chest... and he was sent flying through the walls of the White House and outside, onto the streets. Achingly yet progressively, the merc stood to his tallest. "...you think you've got me bea-" Suddenly, a car flew by and ran the poor mercenary over. Silence consumed the area...
...only for the crazy merc to stand once more. "...you think you've got me beat... well, your wrong! I'll only die, when America says I can! So never! HIYA!" He charged but this time, he was holding a katana. He began flailing the blade at the Senator. He brought the blade down on him-
"Nice knife." Armstrong said, flicking the blade off into the skies above. It landed in the streets. "You... you cheeky little politician! I'll kick your ass!"
(Cues: Naruto Shippuden - Impregnable)
The two charged, teeth gritted and enraged. Throwing their arms forward, they were suddenly locked in a struggle. Everytime Armstrong began using his strength to overpower the Soldier, the Merc would simply put forth more effort into his strength to fight back. Strangely... Armstrong still spoke during this struggle.
"...played College Ball, y'know." Suddenly, the Senator reeled his head back and slammed it directly into the poor Soldier's head. Falling on his back, Doe stood back up...
Only to get a fist in the face. However, the Soldier still stood back up and even managed to reply. "You? Football? Must've been the girl scouts! Ha!" Annoyed, THIS Senator grabbed the poor Merc by the throat and lifted him up.
"Try University of Texas." Armstrong said, increasing his grip on the Soldier's throat, "Coulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the Navy." Trying to escape the Senator's grip, the Merc began kicking at him like a child...
"I'm not one of those beltway pansies. I could break the president in two... WITH MY BARE HANDS!" Pulling back his arms, Armstrong tossed the poor Soldier sky-high.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAH-"
The Senator leaped forward and lifted his foot...
"Don't fuck with this Senator!"
The second Armstrong's foot made contact with the Soldier's body, the poor Mercenary was sent flying through the streets, eventually landing on top of - and destroying - a car. The kick was so impressive that an unknown audience began cheering.
...and yet, the Soldier still stood despite the broken bones... and Armstrong couldn't have been more annoyed. "OH, how the hell are you alive?!"
"Beca-"
"AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT 'AMERICAN SPIRIT' BULLSHIT!"
A few seconds passed as the Soldier thought of a fitting response. He weighed his options and thought about it...
"SCREW YOU! THE AMERICAN SPIRIT EMPOWERS ME! HIYA!"
Both fighters charged but it appeared that the Senator made the wrong move. He launched his fist forward-
Only for the Soldier to duck underneath it and tackle directly into him! As Armstrong fell on his back, he grunted. He slowly stood up...
"THATS IT!" Armstrong yelled, pounding his fist against the ground, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT! TIME TO DIE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
Kicking the ground, dirt flew into the Soldier's face. He couldn't see anything...
His vision returned... and he couldn't see Armstrong anywhere-
A rumble. He looked over... and saw the Washington freaking Monument flying at him like a spear! Most men would've paralyzed in fear or crapped their pants... but this was no ordinary man.
It was the goddamn Soldier.
Quickly thinking, the mercenary opted to pull out the one, logical weapon for this scenario...
(Cues: Collective Consciousness - EXCELSUS Mix)
...a fucking shovel.
"FOR. AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
For Jane Doe, time seemed to slow down... and when it did? The merc began slashing his shovel at amazingly quick speeds. The slashes were precise and strong, cutting through the monument with relative ease.
Did I mention that he was doing this with a goddamn shovel?!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
On the final slash, the entire monument was reduced to rubble- no, atoms.
A few feet in front of him, the Soldier noticed that Armstrong had returned...
"How in fuck did you do that?!"
"I'm sure you'd like to know my superior tactics, Senator guy." The Soldier snarled.
"RAAAAAAGH!" The former football player charged forward, utterly bloodlusted and pissed the hell off. He swung... and missed.
And he missed again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Eventually, the enraged Armstrong finally thought on how to hit this bastard...
By kicking him where the sun don't shine. The Soldier fell to his knees, clutching his poor private parts from the assault. Falling on his back, the Merc could only watch as Armstrong lifted his leg... and began slamming it down. Onto the Soldier's balls. Repeatedly.
"SO."
BAM!
"SICK."
BAM!
"AND."
BAM!
"TIRED."
BAM!
"OF."
BAM!
"YOUR."
BAM!
"BULL..."
On the final stomp, Armstrong lifted his leg for about five whole seconds...
"SHIT!"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
Not only was the Soldier stomped about a whole foot into the ground, he was clutching his privates... oh, good God, it was painful... and yet, he still spoke up.
"...is... that... your... best...?"
"GOD DAMN YOU, YA LITTLE SHIT!" Armstrong instantly lifted his foot and stomped on his chest in an instant.
"AGH!"
He lifted the Soldier by the throat and tossed him away. Slowly yet progressively, the Soldier stood up. "If you think I'm gonna die, you've got another thing coming, pal! Hiya!" The RED Team member pulled his Rocket Launcher back out of his mysterious hammerspace pockets. "DIE!" He began rapid-firing rockets at the Senator... who just stood there.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Soldier laughed, blasting away like a maniac...
And then the smoke cleared. Armstrong's shirt was blown to ashes... but his body in itself was perfectly fine. "How are you not dead?"
"Well... I already said it to one of your friends... but..." Armstrong flexed a muscle and upon doing so, his arm was suddenly darker than coal.
"Nanomachines, son. They harden in response to physical trauma." Suddenly, Steven Armstrong lifted his arm and slammed it onto the ground. The street below broke up a bit yet his hand was completely fine.
"You can't hurt me."
The Soldier's cringed at those words. "NONSENSE! I'M GOING TO BLAST YOU TO KINGDOM COME, REGARDLESS! HAHAHAHA!" He fired another rocket... and it hit Armstrong in the chest. The smoke cleared... and the Senator walked out, completely unharmed.
"...what did I just say?" Swiftly thinking, Jane Doe jumped back-
But wasn't fast enough to avoid a punch that sent him flying into a vehicle.
...and yet, the Soldier still managed to stand up and get out of the broken car. "You think you can still topple me? I-"
The sound of helicopters flying around filled the skies. Jane Doe looked up as a total of five helicopters were surrounding him.
Troopers fell out of the chopper, all of their guns pointed at the Soldier. "Your under arrest! Put your hands up!"
Armstrong smiled. He turned to leave this asshole for the S.W.A.T Team to handle.
"Don't move another muscle!" One of the officers shouted.
Soldier's response?
"HAHAHAHA! I DON'T NEED TO TAKE ORDERS FROM A SISSY LIKE YOU! BRING IT!"
...all the officers looked at each other... and agreed on one thing.
Blast this son of a bitch to hell. They all pulled their triggers. Ammunition flew forward... and what happened next was shocking.
BOOM!
The Soldier exploded... or did he? Suddenly, he flew out of the smoke, surprisingly alive.
"ROCKET. JUMP! HA!"
He came down and brought the shovel down on one of the officer's head...
And then that Officer's head exploded as brain and pulp scattered the area. Swiftly pulling out his rocket launcher, the Mercenary began rapid-firing more missiles. They hit some officers dead on, killing them. Guts flew around the area.
"Retreat!"
"This guy is fucking crazy!"
"Oh, the humanity!"
"My leg!"
The officers ran to the closest chopper and climbed up it-
"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE WRATH OF AMERICA, BOYS!"
The rocket launcher fired and blasted the back off the chopper... and the thing went whack. It began flying around, spinning out of control.
"Mayday! Mayday!"
--
Back at the White House
Armstrong sat back in his ripped up chair, satisfied. Sure, the cost was great but the asshole was gone...
"Mayday! Mayday! Were going down!"
"HUH?!" The Senator turned his head to see a fucking helicopter flying at him. It slammed into the window...
And blew up. The White House collapsed entirely on itself. The flames began to pick up... and the Soldier arrived to look at the flaming White House... and he saluted it.
"I've served my country well..."
...
...
...
...
"YOU. SLIPPERY. BASTARD."
The Merc recognized that voice... it was the sound of insane Senator. Walking out of the flames was Senator Armstrong, shirtless, burnt, pissed and ready to kill this motherfucker. The Soldier charged-
Only to get grabbed by the throat and tossed into the burnt down White House. As soon as he landed, Armstrong jumped down in front of him.
As the patriotic Mercenary stood up, he looked around and noticed the arena. Burnt down American flags, charred pictures of presidents, destroyed desks and furniture... and a ring of fire.
That's when both knew one thing...
It had to be this way.
(Cues: Metal Gear Revengeance - It Has to Be This Way)
The one to move first was Armstrong. He launched forward, knee pointed forward. It slammed directly into the Soldier's face, knocking him back.
Fearing for his life, the Merc reached into his hammerspace... and pulled out a Shotgun. He fired it and upon the bullet hitting the Senator's head...
He casually tanked it. The only difference was his head turned darker than coal. "Damn idiot!" Armstrong said, kicking the Soldier in his hip.
That's when the Merc came up with an idea. He moved his foot... and tripped the poor Senator! This gave the Soldier enough time to stand. He got on both his feet and remembered something...
On his way back, he picked his sword back up. Armstrong stood up-
"HIYA!"
He clutched his chest in pain as he felt something sharp slice at it: A katana.
"YATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!"
He was going absolutely insane on the Senator's chest. The strikes got stronger with each slash. Steven felt all of the pain. It hurt. A lot. The Soldier pulled the blade back... and launched it directly into the Senator's chest.
For a second, silence consumed the area...
And then Armstrong tucked his fists in, stood up... and roared. Furiously.
"YOU'VE DONE IT NOW, YA LITTLE SHIT!"
The Senator's fist suddenly was coated in an aura of fire. He began punching as fast as he could...
"FUCK ALL THESE LIMP-DICK LAWYERS AND THESE CHICKEN-SHIT BUREAUCRATS!"
BAM!
"FUCK THIS 24/7 INTERNET SPEW OF TRIVIA AND CELEBRITY BULLSHIT!"
BAM!
"FUCK 'AMERICAN PRIDE'!"
BAM!
"FUCK THE MEDIA!"
BAM!
Armstrong pulled back his fist and began spinning it. It was coated in furious flames, ready to burn whoever got in its way...
"FUCK... ALL OF IT!"
The fist launched forward... and shattered the Soldier's helmet. It revealed his rather confused and slightly scared face. Luckily, he would still put up a fight...
He pulled out his Rocket Launcher. "Eat rockets!" Upon pulling the trigger, a rocket shot forward... and Armstrong? He simply prepared himself...
And then...
He.
Caught.
The.
Rocket.
It was difficult... but eventually he was capable of turning the explosive around... and throwing it at Jane Doe.
BOOM!
Flying out of the thick layer of smoke, the Soldier hit the ground with a thud. Surprisingly? He was alive. He stood up-
"NO!"
Armstrong would not let him do anything, regardless if he were standing or not. He grabbed the blade that was still in his stomach and pulled it out...
And stabbed the mercenary in the shoulder. Armstrong smirked. It was time to end this. He wrapped his arms around the Merc... and looked around. There was still a wall up. And there was a flag nearby.
Just what he needed.
He dashed at the wall... and began running up it! He jumped sky-high... and above the clouds.
It was truly a spectacular jump... and then the Senator began spinning. He corkscrewing the Soldier back down. As Jane fell, he realized he couldn't escape Steven Armstrong's grasp. He was helpless...
So what did he do?
He saluted.
"At least I died the way I lived... serving my country!"
As they flew back down into the burning White House, Armstrong was happy with the results...
The Soldier's body landed on top of the American Flag... and began ripping right through him. Senator Armstrong stopped holding onto the corpse of the Soldier and let go...
He looked at the flag. The Soldier had a poll going through his head... and yet he was still saluting. Armstrong smiled and lit a cigarette. His victory was more than satisfying.
K.O.!
--
Results
(Cues: Meta Gear Rising: Revengeance - I'm My Own Master Now)
Soul: America! Fuck yeah!
Myth: Sadly, the Soldier's chances were slim from the start.
Soul: Sure, the Soldier has more experience, weapons and hes better at ranged combat but Senator Armstrong can tank fucking mechs exploding! On top of that, he can punch mechs so hard that they explode! And when you can outmatch RAIDEN in speed, that says something.
Myth: On top of that, the Senator is even smarter than him.
Soul: Looks like the Soldier just wasn't Armstrong enough to win.
Myth: The winner is Senator Armstrong.
--- --- ---
THE SOLDIER - LOSER
- +Superior long-ranged options
- +More experience on the battlefield
- +More weaponry
- -Simply couldn't keep up with Senator Armstrong in the physical field
- -Outclassed in close-ranged combat
- -Absolutely crazy
- -Not as smart
SENATOR ARMSTRONG - WINNER
- +Physically stronger
- +Superior reactions and movement speed
- +Far more durable
- +Better at close-ranged fighting
- +Slightly clearer mindset
- +Smarter than his opponent
- +Nanomachines, son
Epilogue
The Senator walked away from the burning White House, happy with his victory. Sure, it would cost him a ton of money... but that didn't matter to him at that moment.
He was victorious over that annoying little shit. As he walked around, he noticed a small paper sticking out of the Medic's burning corpse... he looked at it and read it...
"Mann. Co..."
Trivia
- The only connection between The Soldier and Senator Armstrong is simply 'MURICA!
- The-Myth-Of-Legends states his thoughts about this fanon: OK, this fight came out of nowhere. I hadn't shown any hints to doing it but I just sort of put it all together just because I thought it would be fun... and it was really fun. Sure, I knew the result was obvious but I took all of their craziness and threw it into one American mess of a battle! To be honest, I didn't even care who would win in the end cause I love both but yeah, pretty great duel.
- The Soldier cutting the Washington Monument in half with a shovel is a reference to how Raiden cuts in half large stuff flying at him with the HF Blade.
- Senator Armstrong says "Nanomachines, son!" twice in this fight.
- This Fatal Fiction Fanon was going to be a 4th of July Special only for The-Myth-Of-Legends to do it early.