Description[]
Two big screen takes on history's most iconic and popular dinosaur of all time fight for the dino crown. Who prevails, the queen or the king?
Interlude[]
Hiro: Let's face it, there is NO dinosaur that is more famous than Tyrannosaurus Rex. It stomped through what is now western North America 65 million years ago, getting those bone-crushing jaws on any food source it could find, which were Triceratops and Ankylosaurus, among others.
MBStarscream: We always wished we could see those big tyrants in real life until American cinema came in and granted us that wish and made these two examples of film adaptions.
Hiro: Roberta, the queen of Isla Nublar...
MBStarscream: And Sharptooth, the satanic hellspawn of a T-Rex that killed Littlefoot's mom.
Hiro: I'm Hiro Hamada.
MBStarscream: I'm MBStarscream.
Hiro: And it's our job to examine both warriors' strength, abilities, weapons, and weaknesses to see who would win in a fight.
Roberta[]
Hiro: Roberta was born approximately in late 1989 or early 1990 inside the InGen Compound of Isla Sorna where she spent a few months of her life inside the lab being taken care of by its workers before being transported to Isla Nublar to live in the Tyrannosaur Paddock as an attraction for InGen's Jurassic Park.
MBStarscream: She grew up to be the oldest dinosaur on the island and the third largest carnivore ever recorded, at 16 to 18 feet in height and weighing 7 tons. Truly an amazing animal indeed.
Hiro: And things would go amazingly wrong due to a tropical storm and Dennis Nedry's programming. Fat idiot.
Roberta breaks free from her paddock and roars, then attacks the tour vehicle Lex and Tim are in, and devours Donald Gennaro.
MBStarscream: Nostalgia overload. Does not compute.
Hiro: Roberta is an immensely powerful animal. Her giant size grants her a physicality unfathomable by other land animals, like being able to smash through objects like buildings, Spinosaurus skeletons and vehicles, among others.
MBStarscream: Ef that! In the novel, she straight up overthrows and tosses those cars like they're baseballs! With her mouth, of course.
Hiro: Most impressively, however, is her feat of throwing the Indominus Rex around like a ragdoll, a dinosaur that was supposed to be bigger, stronger and overall better than she was, weighing in at a ton heavier. She also possesses the durability to endure the bite and claws of the hybrid.
MBStarscream: Teeth and claws powerful enough to pierce Gyrospheres, behead Ankylosaurs and kill Apatosaurs!
Hiro: For a big dinosaur, she's very fast, clocked at 32 miles per hour. That is twice as fast as Usain Bolt, who is the fastest human being on record at 27.44 miles per hour.
MBStarscream: Roberta can also change what gender she wants to be and her sense of smell would fill your pet dog with envy.
Hiro: Roberta's deadliest trait, however, is her bite. Once those jaws are on you, your end has come before you can let out your last scream. Clocked at 12,800 pounds, Roberta's bite has the capacity to crush anything she can sink those banana-sized teeth into, like the bones of another seriously unfortunate dinosaur, guaranteeing almost instant death.
MBStarscream: There really shouldn't be any wonder why she most famous dinosaur, but some flaws get in the way. She cannot sense things without movement or sound, so just stay still and you'll be alive.
Hiro: And as aforementioned, anything she could do was inferior to the Indominus', and neither her nor Blue the Velociraptor would've been able to defeat her without each other, nor the Mosasaurus. Plus, her two decades of experience on Isla Nublar has made her an elderly dinosaur, so she wasn't as strong as she was when she was in her prime during the 90's, which allowed the Indominus to overpower her more easily than she would've if Roberta was in her prime.
MBStarscream: Old or not, Indominus, those two raptors and lots of other dinos learned the ultimate lesson: Do NOT stand in the way of your queen, or you're gonna get punished.
Roberta roars over Isla Nublar on top of a helicopter pad.
Sharptooth[]
Hiro: It was the age of the dinosaurs, many eons ago. A massive drought forced several herds of dinosaurs to seek an oasis known as the Great Valley, where they'd be able to live happily without problem.
MBStarscream: Among these, a mother in a diminished Apatosaurus-Oh oops, lemme correct myself-Longneck herd-gave birth to a single baby that was named Littlefoot. As the years went by, Littlefoot made new friends such as a young Triceratops-Oops! THREE-HORN named Cera, who he got along with well. Christ, was calling them by their real names that hard?
Hiro: However, Littlefoot wouldn't stay optimistic for long, for one day, while he was playing with Cera, the being who would leave an eternal impact on him harassed the two children and would've had two tiny meals if not for the heroic sacrifice of Littlefoot's mother.
MBStarscream: (Whiny) Do I have to say the other word instead of Tyrannosaurus Rex?
Hiro: Yes you do.
MBStarscream: Fine. The name of this horrifying beast was Sharptooth, and man, no-one wanted to mess around with him.
Hiro: Ever since his murder of Littlefoot's mother, Sharptooth had not given up on turning Littlefoot and Cera into food, both of which who had met and befriended Petrie the Flyer, Ducky the Bigmouth and Spike the... Spiketail.
MBStarscream: No matter what, Sharptooth was too determined and too stubborn to abandon those kids, which led to his own quite literal downfall when the group managed to push a boulder onto him that sent him falling to a watery death. A bunch of kids killed him. Think about that for a second.
Hiro: Nevertheless, to say that getting into a fight with Sharptooth would be a bad idea would be a kingdom-sized understatement. For a dinosaur as large and heavy as he is, Sharptooth has an absurd jumping ability that enables him to jump several times his own height into the air.
MBStarscream: It's safe to assume that since he is a T-Rex-IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE SIMPLE TO CALL HIM THAT, UNIVERSAL! TAKE NOTES, WILL YA?! (Sighs) Anyway, Sharptooth more than likely has a very strong bite that the rest of his species had, truly making him a deadly enemy.
Hiro: Sharptooth's powerful physical strength can destroy rocks two and a half of his size with five headbutts and not only was he too stubborn to leave the kids alone, he was too stubborn to just die.
MBStarscream: I.e, getting smashed by Littlefoot's mother's tail, continue fighting after being knocked into a wall so hard it cracked, and hitting his head on solid rock without ill effect. Michael Myers-o-saurus, everybody.
Hiro: Sharptooth's eyesight is perfectly fine even with an eye that was injured by a thorn and he can... crawl through thorns without a scratch?
MBStarscream: Universal, when are you gonna make this franchise more realistic?
Hiro: But even in spite of his nigh-unstoppable abilities, there are a few problems. First off, aside from the tiny arms thing, they also prevent him from swimming, so he's in big trouble if water is involved in any scenario. He also lost one of his eyes to a thorn while chasing Littlefoot and Cera and having a small brain like T-Rex had in real life, he wasn't really that much of a genius.
MBStarscream: And as shown in the end of the movie, there are limits when it comes to his iron durability. Make sure you drop a big rock on him and there's water underneath him, and you've wiped him out.
Hiro: But still, there's a low chance of one getting out alive during an unlucky encounter with the nightmarish monster known as Sharptooth.
Sharptooth opens his eye and Cera screams as she barely stops herself from ramming into him. She begins to run away as Sharptooth starts rising.
Fatal Fiction[]
Mario flips a coin.
Hiro: Well, the location of this fight will be none other than Isla Nublar. With her experience on this island, does Roberta have the capacity to take down Sharptooth, or has she finally met her match, something only the Indominus nearly pulled off?
MBStarscream: My childhood's really divided on which one it wants to win. I doubt it will survive either way. Hope this still turns out awesome.
A jungle in Isla Nublar
Low rumbles escaped from one of the Ankylosaurus' throats as it lowered it's head and started eating at the grass on the ground as the others just did their own thing. One of them was on the lookout for any predator that would approach them for a meal, occasionally slamming it's tail club on the ground and snarling softly to show that it would be ready to smash some bones. Five minutes had passed, and no predator had arrived. Feeling reassured, the Ankylosaurus slowly began to eat along with it's friend.
But the peace wouldn't last for long.
A giant, brown three-toed foot stomped on the ground, leaving a footprint. A pair of eyes narrowed intently as air flew out of two nostrils. Two tiny fingers twitched as it continued to slowly approach it's would-be meals. It was a gigantic-sized Tyrannosaurus Rex with scars covering it's face, likely from a legendary battle long ago.
This T-Rex just happened to be this island's queen, Roberta.
Taking another step every three seconds, Roberta got closer and closer to the Ankylosaurus group. When she felt now was the time to attack, she went into a full sprint toward her menu while unleashing a loud bellow. The Ankylosauruses turned around and went into panic mode. The other four galloped off at fast speeds while one of them stayed behind to boldly take on the attacker.
The perfect opportunity Roberta needed.
She stopped her charge, knowing full well about the danger her prey's tail appeared to possess. One swing of that tail would demolish her skull wide open, so even she took this animal seriously. But that was were all the Ankylosaurus' advantages ended, and both were fully aware of that fact.
Opening her mouth, Roberta bit on the Ankylosaurus' back armor, but not even her powerful bite could get past it. She needed to try something else. Turning her body, Roberta swung her tail and knocked the Ankylosaurus onto it's side. At a quick pace, Roberta charged forward with her mouth open again, and tore into the Ankylosaurus' unprotected underbelly, spilling out it's entrails and killing it within moments.
Now free to have a meal, Roberta pushed the Ankylosaurus onto it's back with her head and began to feast on her latest kill. And thus, the circle of life continued.
But this wouldn't be Roberta's only fight of the day.
Only about fifty meters beside her, another T-Rex began to approach. This one was smaller than Roberta by a decent amount, and had dark olive green scales. One of his crimson eyes was swollen shut for a reason unknown, but it's sight didn't seem to be affected by that in any way.
As his remaining eye narrowed, Sharptooth growled loudly with an expression that could only be described as one of hatred incarnate. Only he took the pleasure of sinking his teeth into his victims and ending their lives, so this other dinosaur had made a mistake that was bigger than both of them.
Not willing to let this dinosaur live for another minute, Sharptooth began to charge and when he was close enough, he leaped up at a astounding height and let out a deafening roar.
Roberta looked up just in time to see this and was too filled with shock to move out of the way in time. Before she knew it, Sharptooth had clamped his jaws on her neck and forced her onto her side, trying to decapitate her on the spot. Roberta desperately sliced Sharptooth with her toe claws, drawing blood and earning a roar, giving her time to get up and bite Sharptooth's snout. She threw Sharptooth away with her mouth and roared toward him, firmly reminding him just who he was messing with.
But Sharptooth's stubbornness prevented him from turning tail and running away, instead standing his ground and replying to Roberta with his own roar, implying how ready for a fight he was.
And a fight he would get.
FIGHT!
Roberta decided to make the first move and lunged at Sharptooth, who mirrored the movement. Their skulls ended up colliding, and the two Tyrannosauruses started pushing against one another with their leg strength, each hoping to overpower the other. Neither of them seemed to be getting a real edge over the other, until Sharptooth cheated by biting Roberta's snout. Roberta broke free from Sharptooth's jaws and headbutted him.
With Sharptooth disoriented, Roberta had time to bite his neck and rear her head into the sky before slamming Sharptooth's body down to the ground. She could feel Sharptooth rumbling and twisting beneath her, before he freed himself from her mouth. Sharptooth lunged upward and tore off one of Roberta's arms with a yank, swallowing it. Still underneath the bigger T-Rex, Sharptooth jumped into the air again and when he landed, he was standing directly above his now downed opponent.
Before he could tear out Roberta's throat, however, he felt a pair of feet kick him in the stomach, winding him and forcing him off. Sharptooth walked backward and stopped to catch his breath as Roberta got to her feet. She looked at Sharptooth for a brief moment before charging at him again. But instead of biting him again, she was knocked to the ground with a roar of pain and shock as Sharptooth's tail smashed across the side of her skull.
Roberta then writhed in pain as Sharptooth bit down on her stomach, trying to disembowel her. She slammed her tail against his legs, and he came crashing down to the ground, roaring in shock. Before he could get back up, Roberta rose up to her full height and lunged her head downward. Agony spread toward Sharptooth's neck as Roberta sunk her teeth into him and then lifted him to his feet.
Sharptooth tried in vain to fight back as the veteran Tyrannosaurus threw him back down and then grabbed him again. Instead of throwing him down for a second time, Roberta proceeded to spin and open her mouth, sending Sharptooth staggering toward a tree. He collided headfirst into the bark, putting him in a daze. Once he was able to clear his head, fiery rage coursed through his being. It was extremely difficult for him to comprehend the fact that a girl was winning against him. The only girl that gave him a fight like this was the mother of that child who would've have been his if not for her.
Turning around and glaring right into Roberta's eye, Sharptooth showed her just how livid he was right now with a thunderous roar before jumping at her again. But he felt a sharp pain in his leg as Roberta bit down on it in the middle of his leap and he found himself on the ground once again. Sharptooth wouldn't take any more crap from her; he rolled over before Roberta could bite him again, causing her to bite the grass instead. Roberta spat it out in disgust as Sharptooth quickly rose.
Not wasting a second, Sharptooth jumped on top of her back and bit down on her. He reared his head up, bringing torn off flesh and blood with him, along with an agony-filled roar. Sharptooth almost seemed to chuckle with sadism at the pain his victim was in.
Roberta threw Sharptooth off of her back, and he crashed to the ground. Roberta charged at him to attack, but got a kick to the mouth from Sharptooth, halting her instantly. As Roberta spat out her own blood, Sharptooth wrapped his jaws around her nose, and dug them into her skin. With a swing of her head, Roberta forced Sharptooth to release her. Then in a move that caught Sharptooth off guard, Roberta swung her head again, crashing against Sharptooth's own head.
Sharptooth looked away from her in disbelief, then turned to glare at her with that loathing expression. They stood stock still, not moving a muscle, as each of their eyes burned into the other's. It was uncertain who was going to make the next move at this point, but something was.
This was going to end... to the DEATH.
Finally, Roberta sprinted toward Sharptooth and tried biting his snout, but he reared his head up, pushing Roberta upward by the chest and forcing her to step backward, and then caught her neck with his jaws. Roberta thrashed to escape, but his grip was too strong. She then roared in surprise as Sharptooth landed on his back and pulled Roberta with him, at the same time placing his foot on her stomach. With a push, Sharptooth sent Roberta flying over him and she landed on her back.
The elderly T-Rex had just rolled onto her front when Sharptooth bit her upper jaw. Rising to her feet, Roberta tried freeing herself again, but still ended with failure. Next thing, more flesh was torn off of her body. Sharptooth then turned his back on her and swung his tail upward, giving her his own version of an uppercut.
This amount of anger hadn't burned in Roberta's eyes since she laid eyes on the Indominus. She was utterly fed up with this now, and she was going to get that into Sharptooth's mind right here and right now, and he would not be alive to learn of the fatal mistake he had made.
Sharptooth ran at Roberta to try biting her again, but Roberta moved her head to the side, dodging his jaws, then backed away, giving her space. She dodged another bite, and this time, she bit Sharptooth's neck and threw him onto his front. Sharptooth pushed himself up with his arms, then felt a pain in his tail and was thrown down.
With anger, Sharptooth tried kicking Roberta, but to his horror, his foot was grabbed by her mouth. There was nothing Sharptooth could do as his foot was crushed in those powerful jaws. She moved over and bit on his side. He could feel his ribs crack and break, and then his flesh being torn off. Placing her foot upon Sharptooth's neck, Roberta continued biting and tearing more flesh out of Sharptooth's body until his destroyed ribcage was exposed to her sights.
Roberta narrowed her eyes until they were practically small slits on her head. The end was about to come at last. She tore her jaws into Sharptooth's pinned body, and closed them, tasting all that blood. She could feel her teeth pierce what was undoubtedly Sharptooth's heart, and then his lungs. Pulling her head out of his body, Roberta then pressed her weight on Sharptooth until there was a horrific cracking sound, and he stopped roaring in torture and thrashing to escape as Roberta's foot crushed the bone. Blood came out of his mouth as Roberta removed her foot.
She took a few more steps back from what was now her second kill today. She inhaled through her nose and out again for a moment before turning away from Sharptooth's carcass. Her chest puffed out slightly as she reminded herself of her position in the island. She was the ruler of this park.
And she was going to tell the whole kingdom that in the fastest way possible.
Roberta lifted her head up, opened her mouth wide, revealing those now red teeth and tongue, and bellowed out the roar. No sound on this island held a candle to it. It pierced the heavens with a message, no, a reminder to her subjects and every other living thing on Isla Nublar.
Stay out of the way of your queen.
FATALITY!
Results[]
MBStarscream: Wow! Now I don't even care cuz of how awesome that was! Plus the brutality!
Hiro: This... honestly didn't really go that much in Sharptooth's favor. It is true that he can endure a lot worse than Roberta can, and Roberta's realism prevents her from having the same leaping abilities that Sharptooth possesses.
MBStarscream: But Sharptooth simply couldn't get past everything else.
Hiro: Even if her durability is inferior to Sharptooth's, T-Rexes can survive bites from other members of their kind, so Sharptooth wasn't the only one who couldn't be put down with bite force alone. And where durability fails, speed greatly succeeds.
MBStarscream: Yeah, Sharptooth's a sprinter alright, but can he reach more than 30 miles per hour? Uh uh. Roberta's like, the Flash in comparison to him.
Hiro: And Sharptooth was likely in his prime during the first Land Before Time movie, while Roberta is in her 20's at this point, likely giving her the combat experience edge. And just look at this size difference.
We see a comparison of Roberta and Sharptooth, with Roberta standing four feet taller than him.
MBStarscream: There's a strength difference as well. Sharptooth's headbutts alone can demolish rocks, but he hasn't been seen throwing and tossing around a dinosaur that weighs a ton more than Roberta, has he?
Hiro: Speaking of said dinosaur, the fact that Roberta effectively gave the Indominus, a genetic hybrid with super intelligence and a whole lot of other genes, a decent fight before losing the upper hand would her make her a powerful opponent to face in a fight, even by Sharptooth's standards.
MBStarscream: And two last things: One, female T-Rexes are said to have stronger bites than males, giving Roberta another advantage over Sharptooth, and two, she was raised in captivity, meaning that she is probably healthier than Sharptooth on a general basis. Not the king anymore, are ya, Sharptooth?
Hiro: Roberta wins.
Advantages[]
Roberta (Winner)[]
- Can endure Sharptooth's bites
- Recorded to be faster
- A lot bigger in size
- Likely older and more experienced
- Has fought and held her own against stronger enemies (Cough, Indominus, cough)
- Stronger bite
- More healthy
- Better physical strength
Polls[]