~ "Officer" Cartman's famous catchphrase.

How would you like to suck my balls?!
~ Cartman's infamous line in Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

Eric Cartman is one of the four main protagonists as well as the overall main antagonist of the adult animated sitcom, South Park.

Fanon Wiki ideas so far Edit

Possible Opponents Edit

  • Super Mario Bros.
  • Dan (Dan Vs)
  • The Simpsons
    • Homer Simpson
    • Bart Simpson
  • Family Guy
    • Peter Griffin
    • Stewie Griffin
  • Sans (Undertale)
  • Mandy (The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)
  • Garfield (...)
  • Jeff the Killer (...)
  • Shrek (...)
  • Lola Loud (The Loud House)
  • Yang Xiao Long (RWBY)
  • Carnage (Marvel Comics)
  • Chucky (Child's Play)
  • Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)
  • Steven Universe (...)
  • Jimmy Hopkins (Bully)
  • Mickey and Friends
    • Donald Duck
    • Scrooge McDuck
  • The Joker (DC Comics)
  • Dexter (Dexter's Laboratory)
  • Gumball Watterson (The Amazing World of Gumball)
  • SpongeBob SquarePants
    • SpongeBob SquarePants
    • Mr. Krabs
  • Ren Hoek (Ren and Stimpy)
  • Meowth (Pokémon)
  • Yuno Gasai (Mirai Nikki)
  • Ayano Aishi (Yandere Simulator)
  • Red (Angry Birds)
  • Princess Morbucks (The Powerpuff Girls)
  • Johnny Test (...)
  • Star Butterfly (Star vs the Forces of Evil)
  • Timmy Turner (The Fairly OddParents)
  • Light Yagami (Death Note)
  • Joshu Higashikata (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)
  • Pucca (...)

With South Park Boys Edit

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (...)
  • Mario, Luigi, Wario and Waluigi (Super Mario Bros.)
  • Eddsworld (...)
  • Team RWBY (RWBY)

As The Coon Edit

  • Ace Savvy (The Loud House)
  • Darkwing Duck (...)

History Edit

Eric Cartman is a 8-to-10 year-old boy who lives in the American town of South Park, Colorado located near Denver. He has been the longtime archenemy of Stanley "Stan" Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick and Leopold "Butters" Stotch; despite hanging out with them none have ever considered him a true friend. He is also the rival of Stan's sometimes-girlfriend and love interest Wendy Testaburger and later the abusive (ex-)boyfriend of Heidi Turner.

Cartman is nothing but a fat, bigoted, racist, sexist, cowardly, foulmouthed and manipulative sociopath, constantly spreading hate speeches and bullying as well as deceiving and using others (especially Kyle and Butters) to achieve his own evil goals.

Fatal Fiction Info Edit

Background Edit

  • Full name: Eric Theodore Cartman
  • Alias: Cartman, Eric Cartman, Eric, Hon, Dear, [His Mother Liane Cartman's] Boy Eric, Eric Cartmanez, Fatass, Chubby, Fatty, Dumb***, A**hole, A Little Piggy, The One Who Always Clogs Up The Toilet In [Mr. Randy Marsh's] House, (A) Kid, Tubby, A Cop, Little Boy, Little F*****, Fat-F***, Fat Boy, Fat T***, Dick, Retard, Bullrog, The Coon, That Fat Kid, (The) A.W.E.S.O.M.-O (4000), Cartman With Authoritah, A Fat Little Tumor, Fatty Doo-Doo, Rick Cartman, CartmanBrah, Dickhead, Time Child, Not SkankHunt, Ming Lee, Bad Irene, The Rad Russian, The Dawg, Mitch Conner/Yennifer Lopez (Left hand), Eric the Awesome, The Wizard King, The Grand Wizard
  • Occupations: South Park Elementary student, owner of Cartmanland (formerly), law-enforcement official (briefly), "superhero"/vigilante crimefighter (briefly), YouTuber (briefly)
  • Hobbies: Watching TV and playing video games, eating junk food, especially KFC and Snacky 'Smores,
    insulting, harassing and ostracizing people, especially ethnic and racial minorities, hating on Kyle Broflovski and all Jews, bullying and otherwise manipulating Butters Stotch, teasing Stan Marsh's feelings for Wendy Testaburger, making fun of Kenny McCormick for being poor, making Wendy feel chagrined and marginalized, hanging out with and belittling Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Butters, dating Heidi Turner (formerly), and causing as much trouble in the least amount of time as possible
  • Criminal record: Hate crimes, assorted murder and manslaughter, enforced and committed cannibalism, enforced suicide, vandalism, impersonations, attempted genocide, assorted terrorism, thievery, plagiarism, fraud, rape, torture, abuse, incrimination, blackmail, kidnapping, treason, assault and battery, sabotage, extortion, oppression, stalking, smuggling, armed robbery, scapegoating, firearm law violations, deadly weapon use, arson, cheating, lying, conspiracy, graverobbing, unlicensed surgery, war crimes, breaking and entering, embezzlement, underage/hit-and-run vehicle operation, false imprisonment and forceful confinement, vigilantism, slander, forgery, treachery, tyranny, child pornography, and the list just goes on and on...
  • Age: 8-10
  • Height: 3'0
  • Weight: 90lbs

Powers and Abilities Edit

  • Trash-talking
  • Hand-to-hand combat and fighting skills
  • Cunning
  • Mastery of manipulation
  • Strategies
  • Planning
  • Charisma
  • Sarcasm
  • Impersonation and acting skills
  • Murder methods
  • Leadership
  • Ventriloquism
  • Multilingualism
  • Repulsive flatulence
  • Weaponry use
  • Cooking
  • Musical skills
  • Photography
  • Electrokinesis via foul language (Bigger, Longer & Uncut and Stick of Truth only)
  • Fiery flatulence (Stick of Truth only)

Weapons Edit

  • Apple juice
  • Baseball bat
  • Bear mace
  • Big Wheel
  • Blaster
  • Chainsaw
  • Cheesy Poofs
  • Dagger
  • Flute
  • Hand Gun
  • Mallet
  • Nightstick
  • P.29 stun baton
  • Sais
  • Stick
  • Taser
  • Taser gun
  • TNT stick
  • Wiffle bat
  • V-Chip

Alter Egos Edit

  • The Coon
    • Cartman's superhero (or supervillain) alter ego of himself
    • First appears in the self-titled episode "The Coon"
    • Was also the leader of Coon and Friends in "Coon 2: Hindsight", but he was kicked out by the other members because he was beating them up and blackmailing other heroes
    • Sharp claws used for slashing enemies and injuring them
    • Also comes armed with Coon T-Shirts to give out so he can promote himself any chance he gets
    • Also has "the coon cycle" (Which is just his Big Wheel modified with a raccoon theme)
    • Gains special attacks/abilities in the video games
  • Grand Wizard King
    • Cartman's alter ego when role playing
    • Can whack his enemies with his stick
    • Can actually do some serious damage
    • Also gains the ability to use several special attacks

Feats Edit

  • Knocked over a large planetarium projector by kicking it
  • Once smashed through a window during a slap fight with Kyle
  • Smashed through a glass window in the pentagon twice
  • Can lift a large cartoonishly sized mallet and swing it down no problem
  • When enraged, Cartman once beat Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit to death in seconds
  • Beat up Mint Berry Crunch who beat up Cthulhu, which means Cartman > Mint Berry Crunch > Cthulhu
  • Managed to overpower a dwarf in a fight
  • Once sent another kid flying with a backward kick
  • Was once able to hold onto a mechanical bull longer than anyone else who tried
  • Can quickly disappear and reappear in other parts of the room when people aren't looking
  • Has managed to dodge/run out of the way of incoming bullets aimed his way on several occasions
  • Once rolled out of the way of flying bullets all over the place during a school shooting
  • Can endure getting anally probed by aliens
  • Lives day to day with a giant satellite dish shoved up his rear end
  • Ate several of Chef's hot tamale's and had such bad gas he literally farted up fire several times
  • Once dropped from an alien ship to the snowy ground below and was totally fine
  • Got right back up after being bucked and charged down by a large bull
  • Survived being shoved up a cow's butt
  • Has walked away from car crashes and plane crashes unharmed
  • Took a kick to the face from Mickey Mouse
  • Survived being crucified for three weeks with no food or water
  • Survived being electrocuted in a tub of water
  • Survived jumping off a house with cardboard wings thinking he could fly
  • Survived getting shot by George Zimmerman
  • Survived getting struck by a bolt of lightning
  • Survived being thrown under a bus while it was in motion
  • Survived a brutal beating from PC Principal
  • While he burst out into tears when Kyle slapped him once, he later endured being punched by an enraged Kyle over and over and didn't scream or cry
  • Has been all over the world, to distant planets, and even the future
  • Survived a night of flesh eating zombies in South Park along with his friends
  • Saved Stan, Kyle, Mr. Mackey, and Nurse Gollum from a Planetarium that was hypnotising everyone
  • Managed to recreate "The Brown Noise" and helped make everyone on earth crap their pants at the same time
  • Helped to solve a groovy pirate mystery with Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and the band KoRn
  • Kicked Saddam Hussein's ass with rapid blasts of electricity and ultimately helped to stop hell from coming to earth and rescued Terrance and Phillip
  • Had Scott Tenorman's parents killed, grounded up into chili, and then fed to Scott Tenorman himself
  • Once shoved all of Disneyland up his ass and snuck it into Juvenile Hall for a friend
  • Got the better of Osama Bin Laden using Bugs Bunny-inspired antics
  • Created the satanic woodland critters
  • Rescued a singer named "Wing" from the Chinese Mafia along with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny
  • rescued hostages held up in a red cross from a bunch of robbers because he thought he was a ghost
  • Helped send a whale to the moon
  • Led a team through a large crowd of Hippies, rescuing Stan and Kyle and also ridding the entire town of hippies
  • Rescued Kyle and the rest of his family from a "SMUG" storm while they were high from smelling their own farts
  • In three days, he drove a no-nonsense super nanny insane who spent the rest of her days in a mental institution crying and eating her own excrement
  • Froze himself so he wouldn't have to wait for a Nintendo Wii and woke up over 500 years in the future and ended up unintentionally stopping a war that was going on, though another war ended up taking its place
  • Discovered that the NSA had Santa Claus hooked up to a large machine to keep watch on everyone and exposed it to the world
  • Once chased down Kyle through out the country and even broke into the pentagon to make him fulfill his part of a bet and suck his balls after proving leprechauns were real
  • Gave Kyle AIDS and then helped find the cure
  • Made a psychiatrists's wife kill herself in a matter of seconds using just his cell phone
  • Managed to charm Cthulhu and got him to do his bidding, having him destroy many people he didn't like

Weaknesses Edit

  • All in all, is still just a mortal child
  • Can easily be overpowered up close
  • Cannot fight hand to hand at all, and usually resorts to slapping or scratching his enemies with the occasional weak punch
  • Can't think or function as well when incredibly frightened
  • Noticeably mentally/emotionally unstable
  • His more powerful farting attacks have a brief charge up time before being executed
  • Some of his best plans require prep time, including time to get to know who he's planning against
  • While very intelligent and resourceful, sometimes he can do really stupid things
  • Can also be tricked/played for a fool himself
    • Kyle once tricked Cartman into believing he was ginger, Scott Tenorman tricked Cartman several times using pubes, and even Butter's has successfully duped Cartman by using a pinata as a decoy
  • Can still be very immature and not take things seriously when he should
  • Can cry like a baby if he's been hurt
  • Can be very impatient