Description Edit

Terrifying, dark and villainous, these two dictators are ready to battle to the death.

Interlude Edit

Hiro: Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith.

MBStarscream: And Lord Voldemort, He Who Must Not Be Named.

Hiro: These two dark lords are the most powerful villains ever seen on the silver screen, terrorizing all that cross them. But in the ring, who will be knocked out? I'm Hiro Hamada.

MBStarscream: I'm MBStarscream.

Hiro: And it's our job to examine both warriors' strength, abilities, weapons, and weaknesses to see who would win in a fight.

Darth Vader Edit

Hiro: Tatooine, a planet notorious for criminals, and well known for it's bad reputation. It was also the home of Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun Lars, and the last home of Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

MBStarscream: This particular planet would also be the birthplace of a legendary Force-user that would be named... Anakin Skywalker.


MBStarscream: He would also a legendary whiner! Seriously, I'm shocked that wasn't one of his Force abilities!

Hiro: Anakin was born to a woman named Shmi and would never have a father in his life, and the two were sold into slavery until a Jedi Master named Qui-Gon Jinn discovered him and believed him to be the Chosen One. You see, the prophecy of the Chosen One was a Jedi legend that foretold the coming of a being who would destroy the Sith and restore balance to the Force.

MBStarscream: Anakin was brought to Corusant where Jinn requested that the boy be admitted into the Jedi Order for training. The Council rejected the request, however, believing that Skywalker was too old, so Jinn vowed to train Skywalker even without the Council's approval.

Hiro: Jinn later returned with Kenobi and Amidala to Naboo, where they fought to liberate the planet from the Federation. During the final battle, Jinn and Kenobi fought Darth Maul, and Carnage 2.0 fatally wounded the Jedi Master. In his final moments, Jinn told Kenobi that Skywalker was the Chosen One and asked that Kenobi train the boy as a Jedi. 

MBStarscream: Anakin would later become the Jedi Order's finest member, even becoming a Knight. Later, Padmé Amidala Naberrie, who was the young Queen of the planet Naboo, would become his wife in secret. She eventually became pregnant and things were got get even better, right? ...Not exactly.

Hiro: Anakin would have nightmares about Padmè dying in childbirth, resulting in him betraying the Jedi, pledging himself to the teachings of his former confidant and friend, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, who was secretly the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Sidious, thus becoming the Sith Lord Darth Vader, because he thought that would save Padmè and his unborn baby.

MBStarscream: Palpatine shortly thereafter ended the war, destroyed the Jedi Order, and declared himself Galactic Emperor. A tragic duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan ensued when Anakin Force-choked Padmè in a fit of rage when he believed she had brought Obi-Wan to kill him, which ended in a very unpleasant way.

Obi-Wan slices Vader's remaining organic limbs, and we then see him screaming as the lava starts burning him.

MBStarscream: Jesus fuckin' Christ, those screams are haunting.

Hiro: Palpatine, who was Vader's new master by this point, rescued him and took him back to the galactic capital of Coruscant, now known as Imperial Center, to be rebuilt; the suit that Vader donned there would be one that the Dark Lord would wear for the rest of his life.

MBStarscream: Finally, no more whining! Now we get badass stuff, like lightsaber duels and Force powers!

Hiro: Vader was perhaps the second most powerful Sith Lord in the history of the galaxy, only surpassed by both his apprentice and his son Luke Skywalker at his peak. He was capable of telekinesis which could be used either offensively or defensively in fights. In fact, he's actually flown his TIE Advanced x1 starfighter and use his telekinetic abilities to destroy Rebel starfighters, taking out three squadrons of X-wings in this fashion at the same time.

MBStarscream: Other Force abilities included Force push, Force pull, his personal favorite Force choke, Force Throw, Force Grip, Force Crush, and using his lightsaber as a boomerang in hopes of slicing his opponent in two.

Hiro: Vader utilized Telepathy to mentally communicate over small or vast distances with other individuals, especially his son, Luke Skywalker. He used this ability in a deleted scene of Return of the Jedi, to mentally communicate with Luke.

MBStarscream: He could also control people's minds, but it was useless against people who had strong enough wills to resist it.

Hiro: Vader could also sift through the thoughts of a sentient being, have visions of the past, present and future and sense  another sentient being's emotions, the future, ripples in the Force caused by momentous or traumatic events, impending danger and the presence of the dark side; his senses were so powerful, that he could not only sense the presence of his former mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, on the first Death Star, but he could also sense the presence of his son, Luke Skywalker, on more than one occasion.

MBStarscream: And although Vader rarely used this Force ability, he was capable of enormous leaps and jump great distances despite his 120 kilogram weight, and he could even utilize Force Dash to move faster than the average human.

Hiro: Vader used his Force powers to increase his physical strength; this made him physically stronger then most, if not all other sentient beings. His cybernetic enhancements also allowed him additional strength to overpower others with greater ease.

MBStarscream: Vader utilized his cybernetic enhancements in combat, as it gave him greater strength to easily subdue, restrain and overpower his opponents. He can effortlessly lift humans off the ground with one hand while holding them by the neck, crush bones in his fist, or throw people across rooms.

Hiro: According to Obi-Wan, Vader had potential of becoming the galaxy's greatest lightsaber user. And since his skills surpassed even Yoda and Palpatine's, he was very right.

MBStarscream: Vader made that baby himself after his fall into darkness, and had been kicking ass with it ever since until his redemption when he killed his master by throwing him down the Death Star II's reactor shaft, saving his son from turning into a fried chicken. However, he would later die in Luke's arms because Palpatine's Force Lightning damaged his suit, and therefore, his ability to live with it.

Hiro: And that wasn't even the only flaw his suit had. The synthskin that substituted for what was seared from his bones itched incessantly, and his body needed to be periodically cleansed and scrubbed of necrotic flesh, and the incessant rasp of his breathing interfered with his ability to rest, let alone sleep. In the rare moments it came to him, Vader's sleep was a nightmarish jumble of twisted, recurrent memories that unfolded to excruciating sounds, and when he attempted to rest, his cybernetic limbs strained against his ruined flesh.

MBStarscream: Worse, the implanted sensors lacked sufficient discrimination, so that too many ambient sounds were picked up, and their distance and direction were difficult to determine. Sometimes the sensors needled him with feedback, or attached echo or vibrato effects to even the faintest noise. It also weighed him down, as did the electrode-studded collar that supported the oversized helmet, the delicate systems of the mask, and the ragged scars in his hairless head, which owed as much to what he had endured on Mustafar as to attempts at emergency trepanation during the trip back to Coruscant aboard Palpatine's shuttle.

Hiro: OK, we're getting off track here, so let's end things here. It didn't matter if Vader never reached his full potential due to his injuries at Mustafar. As we mentioned before, he was still on par with Palpatine as the most powerful Sith Lord the entire galaxy had ever seen. He truly was impressive, most impressive.

MBStarscream: You mean a Force to be reckoned with! Eh? Eh?

Hiro: Let's end things now. Like, right now. Like, right this instant.

Vader: Where is Padmè? Is she safe? Is she alright?

Palpatine: It seems, in your anger, you killed her.

Vader: I...I couldn't have. She was alive! I felt it!

Vader damages several surrounding objects and droids through the Force. He then breaks the clamps that have been holding him down and takes a few steps forward. Palpatine watches, grinning cruelly.


Lord Voldemort Edit

Hiro: The year was 1926. Jeez, my grandparents weren't even born then. A boy named Tom Marvolo Riddle was born to Merope Gaunt, a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin, and Tom Riddle Sr, a wealthy and extremely snobbish Muggle.

MBStarscream: Merope magically tricked Tom Sr. into marrying her and kept him under control until she finally let him go, hoping he would have fallen in love with her on his own after, but he abandoned her without second thoughts. Desperate and miserable, she passed away shortly after chosing a name for her newborn son. Poor kid. You and him have something in common, Hiro.

Hiro: Man, as if Professor Callaghan wasn't enough. Anyway, Tom spent his years in a dingy orphanage, completely unaware of his Wizarding heritage, though he did have a lot of grasp on his abilities beyond that of normal magical children, which he used to harm people he did not like. He was never caught for any of his acts, but was suspected nonetheless.

MBStarscream: OK, this is a long history before the badass magic stuff, so could you give us a minute?

A "minute" later

Hiro: Phew! We finally made it to this point! About time!

MBStarscream:  In 1979, word came from an informant, Severus Snape, of a Prophecy that predicted Voldemort's downfall: (Ahem) The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…

Hiro: Wow, that was deep.

MBStarscream: Thanks.

Hiro: To prevent this prophecy from coming true, Voldemort murdered James and Lily Potter, but when he attempted to kill their infant son Harry with his Killing Curse, thanks to the fact that Lily's love for her son somehow created an invisible and powerful defense in Harry's skin when she died for him, the spell rebounded upon himself, ripping his soul from his body and destroying his powers.

MBStarscream: But Voldemort was far from doomed. His Horcruxes kept him alive, although formless and powerless. He retreated to the same Albanian forest he had traveled to find Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem, expecting one of his faithful Death Eaters to find him and help him. But those still faithful to him were either dead or in Azkaban. He gained a form by inhabiting snakes, which never lived long.

Hiro: Voldemort was regarded to be the most powerful and dangerous Dark wizard of all time, possibly surpassing even Gellert Grindelwald. His followers noted that he possessed knowledge of magic that nobody could possibly imagine, and even Albus Dumbledore himself once stated that Voldemort had likely been the most brilliant student that Hogwarts had ever seen.

Dumbledore: ...the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time...

MBStarscream: Even at a young age, Voldemort was able to utilise magic without the use of a wand or even knowing the very existence of magic itself: he had a power to move objects with his mind, to communicate with and control animals, and even inflict harm on those who opposed or made the very bad mistake of ticking him off.

Hiro: This unnaturally high level of control marked him a prodigy even as a child, and as an adult, Voldemort was generally considered to be the most dangerous Dark Wizard who had ever existed, and proved himself capable of holding his own well even against an Elder Wand-wielding Dumbledore.

MBStarscream: Voldemort was incredibly talented in the Dark Arts, widely considered to be the most powerful practitioner of the Dark Arts the world had ever known, possibly surpassing even Grindelwald.

Hiro: He has a masterful knowledge of the most unknown and complex magic that a Dark wizard was capable of, and was also a masterful practitioner of all three Unforgivable Curses, with a special affinity for the Killing Curse, having murdered enough people to create an entire army of Inferi, and was known to have cast this curse effectively while still under-aged.

MBStarscream: Voldemort was a duelist of frighteningly tremendous, almost unrivalled skill, being able to hold his own against an Elder Wand-wielding Dumbledore and even duel evenly with Minerva McGonagall, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Horace Slughorn, who were masterful duelists themselves, simultaneously. Damn!

Hiro: He was capable of flight, telekinesis, teleportation, and he could make a giant snake out of fire and unleashed a maelstrom of colossal firestorms against Harry, after he discovered that he was still alive.

MBStarscream: He could create Inferi out of corpses, control snakes and Basilisks, and possessed types 1 and 8 immortality.

Hiro: Speaking of possess, he could that to living  creatures, and gain complete control over their actions by doing so. Once the possession is done, the victims will have no knowledge of what happened.

MBStarscream: That's why I HATE that ability.

Hiro: Same here. Voldemort was also capable of using spells wandlessly and non-verbally, plus some serious wand versatility, along with manipulation.

MBStarscream: Voldemort had some great curses up his sleeve, like Avada Kedavra, Crucio, Imperio and Fiendfyre. Avada brings instant death to it's target, Crucio is basically Darkseid's Agony Matrix, Imperio controls Voldemort's opponent completely but can be fought off and Fiendfyre is a massive flame that nothing can stop, not even water, you know, the stuff that can put out fire?

Hiro: But not everything about Voldemort is perfect. He is proud of his power and has high arrogance. He carries a number of exploitable idiosyncrasies - for example, his obsession with obtaining magical trinkets as prizes and with places personally significant to him, and his preoccupation with the number seven. Due to his nature, his upbringing, and the effects of the Horcruxes, he has no understanding nor interest in the concept of love, and can easily misread people's intentions or underestimate their determination as a result. 

MBStarscream: He can be killed permanently if all seven Horcruxes are destroyed, and if his body is destroyed while they still exist, he is reduced to a nearly powerless shadow until a new body can be created for him. He fears death above all things and although he has possessed the Elder Wand, he never became its master, and it works no better for him than his normal wand.

Hiro: But there was still a reason why he was dreaded to the point where people always referred him as "You-Know-Who" when talking about him.

Voldemort: The Boy-Who-Lived. How lies have fed your legend, Harry! Do you want to know what really happened thirteen years ago? Shall I divulge how I truly lost my powers? It was love. You see, when dear sweet Lily Potter gave her life for her only son, it provided him with the ultimate protection, I could not touch him. It was old magic, something I should have foreseen. But no matter, no matter, things have changed. I CAN TOUCH YOU... NOW!

He places the pad of his finger on Harry Potter's scar, and Harry immediately screams out in agony.

Voldemort: Astounding what a few drops of your blood will do, eh, Harry?

Fatal Fiction Edit

Mario flips a coin.

Hiro: Well, it seems Voldemort has the home advantage in this scenario. But can he keep up with the Dark Lord of the Sith?

MBStarscream: This is gonna be epic, I'm sure.

A dark, spooky forest

As the moon shone in the midnight, a huge ship flew through the dark blue sky. The ship then landed in an area that was in this scary forest, and then a door on the ship opened, allowing a figure to walk out of it.

He was a truly tall figure, about six foot two. A black cape blew in the wind, almost making the figure resemble Batman. The suit he was wearing was the same pitch black color, along with the skull-like mask that covered his head. Scary mechanical breathing could be heard as the man walked. That sound alone indicated that the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, had made his presence known.

Leaves were crushed underfoot as Vader walked through this unsettling place without the slightest fear. He was Darth Vader, why would he afraid of a mere forest?

Then he saw another man standing in front of him, causing him to stop in his tracks.

This man was unnatural. He was completely bald and his fingers were more like the legs of a spider rather than normal human fingers. He had chalk-white skin that immediately made Vader think of his master, Darth Sidious, and the man's body was skeletally thin. He had snake-like slits for nostrils. Anyone else who saw these features on this man would recognize him as the most powerful Dark Wizard in history.

Lord Voldemort.

The two man looked at each other until Vader spoke up. "Leave if you want to continue your life." he warned. Voldemort responded, "I find that hypocritical because you yourself have that option." Vader than ignited his red lightsaber, surprising Voldemort. Voldemort had never seen anything like it. It was twice as big as his wand (No, not that wand, OK?!). But no matter. This man would fall to the power of his magical abilities.

"We shall duel then." Vader challenged. Voldemort gave an evil grin. "You will try to fight me, but ultimately die from the grave mistake you have just made, the last one you'll ever make."


Voldemort started the fight by taking out his Elder Wand and firing at Vader. Vader quickly brought up his lightsaber, deflecting the blast toward a tree, setting it on fire. He then hurled his lightsaber at his enemy, but Voldemort flew into the air, effectively dodging Vader's attack. Vader pulled the lightsaber back into his hand with the Force, and looked up to see Voldemort ready to blast him with the Elder Wand again.

But before Voldemort could, Vader grabbed him with Force telekinesis and threw him to his left, sending him crashing into the forest ground.

"That's an impressive ability, I must admit." Voldemort complimented as he rose to his feet. "I've never seen anything like that in this world. You truly are a unique man and would make quite a powerful Dark Wizard indeed. But still, you are triumphed by me."

Vader almost rolled his eyes at this point. This was bringing back memories of his arrogance as Anakin Skywalker, and boy, did he wish those memories would just die and never come back already.

Voldemort fired another blast from his Elder Wand, but Vader reacted fast enough to dodge it. Leaping toward Voldmort, Vader sliced the chest of his adversary with his lightsaber, drawing blood and earning a painful shout from the Dark Wizard.

Vader then grabbed and gripped Voldemort's throat tightly in his hand. Voldemort gasped for air as he tried unsuccessfully to escape Vader's choke hold. With his other hand, Vader prepared to finish off his opponent by plunging his lightsaber right into Voldemort's heart.

Until Voldemort pushed Vader back with telekinesis, shocking the Sith. Voldemort pushed Vader some more, then a massive flame appeared in front of Vader. The hellish image reminded him of another hell: Mustafar, the same place he had battled Obi-Wan Kenobi and later become the black cyborg he was now. He quickly grabbed Fiendfyre in his telekinesis and threw it high into the air. Force Leaping backwards, Vader grabbed Fiendfyre again, pulled it backward and hurled it as hard as he possibly could, sending the flames flying beyond the horizon.

He then looked at Voldemort again, who was angry now. "I am impressed by you, but you are angering me at this point. And those who have suffered my wrath have perished, so prepare for your fate." He growled as he brought out his Elder Wand yet again.

Voldemort fired another blast, but Vader reflected the blast in his right direction. He then hurled a ball of Kinetite at Voldemort, stunning him. He leaped at Voldemort and slashed him with his lightsaber about eight times before kicking him in the chest. He grabbed a rock in his telekinesis and hurled it at Voldemort, striking the Dark Wizard's gut.

Bleeding severely and winded, Voldemort glared at Vader in anger. He threw Vader onto his back with telekinesis, then hurled him at a tree. Before Vader was standing to his full height, Voldemort grabbed him with his telekinesis again and smashed him hard into the ground. Still holding Vader telekinetically, Voldemort lifted up the Sith Lord and hurled him backward.

Vader slowly rose as Voldemort approached. He turned to face the Dark Wizard, and the two glared at each other again. Vader suddenly fell onto his knees, groaning in agony. Voldemort grinned sadistically as Crucio took it's toll. He walked up to the Sith and pointed his Elder Wand at his head.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. You had the opportunity to continue your life, but you decide to throw it away by getting into this fight. I warned you of my superiority, but you still denied it and fought anyways. Now you have learned how big the mistake of fighting me truly is. And you won't able to redeem yourself for it, because you will die now. Like so many others that have defied me. Get ready to join them, forever."

Suddenly, Voldemort let out a loud scream of pain as Vader's lightsaber flew through the air and was returned to it's master. Looking down, Voldemort was horrified to see his arm on the ground. He screamed again when he felt something hot slice through his intestines. Vader stood up, then impaled Voldemort right through the throat. Voldemort coughed up blood as he looked at Vader in terror, all arrogance disappeared. Now he wouldn't be able to escape with his life. Karma was such a bitch sometimes.

"Remember when you basically called me a hypocrite for warning you to leave, yet I was about to fall to you? Well, you're the hypocrite here. You claimed to be superior to me, yet you are about to die at my hand. Your hypocrisy doubled when you gave that speech to me while you preparing to kill me. Everything you said that was going to happen to me is now going to happen to you. Such irony. If anyone has made a mistake here, it is you. And you will die for it, not being able to redeem yourself for it. Like so many who have defied you, you said. Well, people have defied me, and they've died for it. Thus the hypocrisy continued yet again. Farewell."

Vader then swung his lightsaber downward, slicing Voldemort's body in half save for his head, and he fell to the ground lifelessly. Deactivating his lightsaber, Vader turned his back on his dead opponent and abandoned the corpse of what was once the terrifying Lord Voldemort.


Results Edit

MBStarscream: Kinda brutal if you ask me.

Hiro: Voldemort's magical powers allowed him to put up a decent fight, but it ultimately wasn't enough to compete with the Dark Lord of the Sith.

MBStarscream: His magic is impressive and all, but Vader's Force abilities were far superior than anything Voldemort is magically capable of.

Hiro: Plus, the size of Voldemort's Elder Wand was outclassed by Vader's 3 foot long lightsaber, so that immediately gave Vader the advantage in this showdown. Also, he is far physically superior to the Dark Wizard.

MBStarscream: Voldemort does have a cool physicality, but is he capable of withstanding exposure to Force Lightning, lightspeed reactions, Multi-Continent level attack potency, etc? I don't think so!

Hiro: And Vader wasn't an arrogant individual like Voldemort. Yes, he was when he was Anakin Skywalker, but once he become Vader, he was much less arrogant that he was before. Voldemort, on the other hand, never had a change of heart when it came to arrogance, and thus his underestimations of Vader's power ultimately resulted in his downfall at the hand of the Dark Lord of the Sith.

MBStarscream: Voldemort truly didn't realize what a force his opponent to be reckoned with until it was too late.

Hiro: Darth Vader wins.

Advantages Edit

Darth Vader (Winner) Edit

  • Stronger
  • Faster
  • More durable
  • Lightsaber>Wand
  • Force abilities FTW
  • Took advantage of Voldemort's arrogance

Polls Edit

Who would you be rooting for?

The poll was created at 14:19 on September 28, 2016, and so far 3 people voted.
Do you agree with the results?

The poll was created at 18:18 on December 4, 2015, and so far 49 people voted.
Whose speech at the end did you guys prefer?

The poll was created at 09:50 on June 3, 2017, and so far 2 people voted.